We’re not sorry. PLEASE don’t say “I’m sorry.” We understand it’s a
common reaction,
but
we adore our children and don’t regret having them!
We can do it, and if you were in our shoes, you could, too. People
often
say, “I
couldn’t do it!” but yes, you could. If you were in our shoes, you would quickly
adjust
and do anything for your child.
Our lives aren’t much different than yours. People often picture
life with Down
syndrome
as being depressing, but in reality, our lives are a lot alike, and not as difficult
as
you might think. We do the same things that you and your families do!
Down syndrome isn’t “one size fits all.” People with Down syndrome
are every bit as
unique as any other. They have strengths and weaknesses, and their own physical
features. Most don’t have every characteristic or health issue associated with Ds,
and
many are 100% healthy and only have a few characteristics. It’s very likely you
walked
by someone with Down syndrome before and never realized it!
We’re not “supermoms” and “superdads.” We’re just good parents doing our
best.
Parents
who have children with special needs are often put on a pedestal. We’re not
exceptional
parents because we have a child with special needs. We’re exceptional parents
because we
love and support each of our children.
We love our children every bit as much as any other. Kids are kids
and we adore them
no
matter what. Some people like to tell parents who have younger children with Down
syndrome that they won’t love them as much when they’re older, but most of us are
lucky
enough to know that the love for a child never ends!
Down syndrome isn’t an illness. Down syndrome is the most common
genetic condition
and
it occurs at conception. It cannot be “caught” and it will NEVER go away.
We’re not irresponsible or uneducated. We’re often accused of being
irresponsible
for
bringing our children into the world, but genetic screening is a choice and isn’t
fail-proof. Many children (like Liam), slip by with normal tests and ultrasounds,
and
the condition isn’t discovered until after birth.
We are happy, but life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. We ARE
happy. We feel
blessed
and thankful, and we adore our children and love our lives. We’re often told we need
a
reality check because life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns, and that we have a false
sense of happiness. It’s as if we’re not allowed to be happy. Sometimes life just
plain
sucks, but the majority of the time, it’s actually quite beautiful.
We don’t receive money just because we have a child with Down
syndrome. Kids don’t
receive disability, but they could receive SSI, which is income based and extremely
difficult to qualify for. Most parents don’t receive any money and are working hard
to
support their child with Down syndrome, just like any other parent.
Raising a child with Down syndrome doesn’t cost much more than raising a
typical
child.
It’s a myth that raising a child with Down syndrome is astronomically high. It only
costs a little bit more than raising a typical child.
Our marriages are strong and our kids don’t resent their siblings.
Down syndrome can
often be falsely perceived as ripping apart families. Just like any other family,
there
are parents who walk away. But studies show that most marriages become stronger
after
they welcome a child with Down syndrome into the family and that people who have a
sibling with Down syndrome love them! Our families are strong!
We have hopes and expectations for their future. We want ALL of our
children to live
long, happy, fulfilling, healthy lives and we have high expectations!
Our biggest struggle is YOU. Our struggles aren’t within the home.
The struggles are
within the world around us. Our fight for our children is with YOU.
There isn’t any way to prevent Down syndrome. No prevention
technique will stop Down
syndrome from occurring and nobody is exempt. It happens at conception, and in most
cases, it happens by chance. It happens to every race and economic status, and it
can
happen at any age.
Our kids are more alike than different and all we want is for our children
to be
accepted. Our kids are human beings. They eat, sleep, communicate,
love, grow, learn
and
change. It’s 2017 and it’s time to progress. Please treat them like your fellow
human
beings.
There’s a reason why we use the term “The Lucky Few.” Sometimes the
things we don’t
want
turn out to be the most beautiful. Those who are lucky enough to be “blessed by Down
syndrome” understand exactly what it means to be The Lucky Few.
Please use people-first language and don’t use the “r” word. It’s
not “Down syndrome
baby” or “Downs child.” Use their names or say “person with Down syndrome.” The term
“retarded” is outdated and offensive. The majority of health providers no longer use
it,
and saying that something is “retarded” isn’t okay. There are thousands of other
words
to describe what you’re trying to say.
We want you to ask questions! Please don’t act uncomfortable or
avoid us, because we
want you to ask questions and we want to talk about it! That’s how people learn
about
something they may not understand.
Sometimes we do know more than the experts. We’re living it and we
have experience.
Our
minds are filled with information, thanks to countless hours of research, therapy
sessions, medical appointments and IEP meetings. Medical professionals have the
knowledge, but rarely have the real life experience, so we are the pros!
Focus on your child’s strength. Although your child will face
physical and
developmental
challenges, he or she will have a distinct personality and distinct strengths. It
can be
tempting to focus upon the things your child can’t do or isn’t interested in, but
this
type of attention leads to a negative cycle in which both you and your child become
frustrated. Another approach for children with special needs is called Responsive
Teaching, where parents and caregivers respond to the areas of interest and strength
that the child already exhibits, leading to positive emotions and growth on both
sides.
With amazing movie like teaching techniques and word to word textbook mapping, Home
Revise can be your ward's best friend when it comes to responsive teaching.